October 2000

One of the greatest lie told to children is

Sticks and stones
may break my bones,
But names will never hurt me.

Oh, I know grown-ups mean well. They want to comfort the dejection of little hearts over the minor scraps and hurtful tirades that children seem so prone to have. More shocking than finding out that Santa Claus does not exist is the truth that words do have power. For words reflect thoughts. And what more powerful than a thought?

Sticks and stones
May very well break my bones,
But words will touch my soul.

I received many emails from the last story I wrote for My Space (Hungry Ghost, September issue). In writing for the public, I have had many occasions to touch sensitive nerves that resulted in not a few angry words. But this time, the words were so kind, and so touching that I wanted to give them this space.

(Arthur, this is a series of emails that I received. I did not do much editing except for glaring grammar stuff. Use your judgement as to how to edit. or layout. Thanks. )

Jerry DeMars alias - Point Man (HASH name)
Cincinnati, U.S. (left Guangzhou in 1999)

Your story of the closing of Kathleen's in Guangzhou brought tears to my eyes. Kathleen's was a sanctuary from the chaos of our lives while living in GZ. I have many very fond memories of time spent in Kathleen's. Your place was even a part of the blind date in which I met my new wife. She was also saddened to hear you are closing. I have learned from my time in China that with each ending is a chance for new beginnings. The world will never stand still and we must all move on to new adventures. Thanks Kathleen for sharing part of your dreams with all of us who in GZ during the last several years.

Anne Maric
Melbourne, Australia. (left Guangzhou in 1998)

When I initially moved to Guangzhou, it had to be one of the loneliest times of my life. I moved right out of my comfort zone and right into an emotional war zone. Not knowing a soul in that country, not understanding or being able to communicate with anyone was a daily challenge for me. But one day I bumped into someone walking along Huan Shi Dong Lu and my life changed dramatically. Not only did I find a great friendship, but in Kathleen's I found people from every culture and walk of life who formed the foundations of my life in China. What was one day a struggle became some of the best experiences. Many a Saturday I remember a group of us girls meeting at Kathleen's for breakfast. One of them continuing on with HASH (running club), and those of us less hardy souls wondering just down that alley and into the beauty parlor for a facial. From that first day, it became a Saturday ritual.

After a huge week working and spending Friday night at Kathleen's to unwind and listen to music. Some of which would turn into huge sessions dancing wildly around and winding our way through tables, on top of tables up and over chairs. What was meant to be an early sober evening turned into an evening of discovery. Being introduced to someone new who may have just arrived in our fair city.

Or after a huge day of shopping and then phoning around and meeting friends for an afternoon of relaxation, or just to spend some quiet time on your own to reflect (not in that lifetime!). Walking through the door and there you were Kathleen, always ready to meet and chat with everyone. I also remember that fitness regime we started prior to moving to Shanghai but even then you made time to meet with me. Those chats were very special and made me look at my life and ask things of myself that I had put to the side. They also kept me sane. I must thank you for those times as Kathleen's would not be what it was if it had not been for the person behind the name. That person is what made the name and the place that we all felt was a home away from home. Why keep yourself company when you could go to a place that welcomed you in and made you part of a greater family?

I could go on for days but this is really a very sad moment, Sad not for those of us who experienced and knew Kathleen's, but for those that will not. It was a sanctuary for those like me who have since moved on. But sad for those who have just arrived but will never know Kathleen's.

Lawrence E. Lipsher, C.P.A. (No matter what you call it, it will always be Clueless to me . . .)
Hangzhou (still visits Guangzhou regularly)

We met, for the first time, way back during your first Trade Fair in Guangzhou (1996). While we haven't seen one another much, our paths have crossed every now and then and, I'm sure, they will continue to cross, as we're “permanent” residents of China.

I'm in Hangzhou, now, working on one of the consulting projects that have developed as part of my business. Things are going nicely. I suppose I've paid my dues and I know that you've paid yours as well. I know that after all I've been through, I can honestly say that I'm happy with my life and what has evolved.

I read that's Shanghai this morning, sitting in a hotel restaurant, eating breakfast. It's with mixed emotions that I read about your closing the Guangzhou restaurant. What can one say? Everything seems to have a fixed, determinable life, especially restaurants. Yet even though there is sadness in closing the place, it served a definite purpose. It has gotten you to where you are now. If nothing else, the nightmares associated with [starting it up] will also become a pleasant thing of the past to talk about but not have to suffer through again!