He sat next to me on the flight from San Fran to Shanghai. It was one of those pack-em-in like sardine flights and so being neighborly was the only option. Somewhere between X-Men II and The Funniest Home Videos, we got to talking. He was from Fujian, had studied in Jiao Tong University, the Harvard of China, and was currently doing his MBA. As part of the program, he had just finished a week-long conference at the Kellogg Management Institute in Chicago. His concentration was financed and he was hoping to get a job in banking when he graduated.

That should be no problem, I thought. When I told him about my restaurant, he excitedly told me that he had just celebrated his birthday there last week. Young, bright, and well-versed in western ways, he has all the qualifications to succeed. He is sure to be a maker and shaker of China’s future. After a while I drifted off to sleep and he buried his head in his book, “On Men and Women” in Chinese.

As our 12-hour flight was ending, the captain came on the speaker. After the usual thank you for choosing us speech, the American pilot went on to explain that although we were 1 1/2 late leaving San Francisco, he was able to make up 20 minutes in flight. We were still late, but not as late, and he hoped we appreciated their efforts.

At this point, my seatmate leaned over and said; Chinese pilots would never talk so much. Chinese pilots would only keep to the essentials. Oh, I said, but Americans want to give the passengers as much information as possible. As long as people know what happened, they can accept it. But, he countered, Chinese passengers would never ask for so much information. At this point, I asked, is it because no one would answer them even if they asked? So they simply stop expecting to know.

Maybe, he shrugged and sat back reflecting. I reflected too. In my businesses, I have experienced how much information my Chinese staff shared with each other, and how much the managers give their staff – very little. Simple projects become bogged down just because people who work together everyday didn’t communicate on important details. Unless I make a point of sitting everyone down and going through the plans, very little is said, asked, or given.

More than once, I have had to go through endless trial and error to come up with a solution for a long-time problem, just to have the responsible person involved tell me, “yes, I know, that’s what we did at my last job.” But why didn’t you tell me! I would exclaim, only to be told, “You didn’t ask me.”

In my high school, an answer like this to the teacher would get you in detention. And yet here, it is given in all honesty to the boss, or rather in all earnestly. For here, there is nothing strange about keeping mum, not sharing information or not making suggestions.

In the business world, this system produces managers who manage by giving orders and not explaining the purpose of any procedure, nor soliciting any opinions. It produces a training system where veteran staffers treat their trainees like gofers, and training becomes more like a high school initiation rather than a learning experience. It also creates a work force that never asks questions or offers suggestions even when they are the first ones to know when a procedure doesn’t work. Finally, it creates such low expectation on the general population that information sometimes has the opposite effect of confusing rather than illuminating.

Coupled non-communication with another cultural tendency – that of avoiding conflict – and you have the deadly combination of disagreeing but not saying it. More than once, I’ve had meetings with managers where we spend hours arriving at what I thought was a mutually agreed on decision, only to have the decision reversed or totally ignored. When asked why after the fact, I’m usually given shabby excuses or, even worst, the blank stare – as if expecting an agreed-upon decision to be carried out was illogical on my part.

Here, nothing is lost in translation simply because nothing is ever said. 

Foreign managers new to China tend to take this as a personal affront. Trouble starts when they think their Chinese staff or managers are going against them on purpose. Some foreign managers feel ineffective because they think that their decisions are being ignored. Sometimes this causes them to over-react. I’ve seen one foreign manager become so incensed with what he thought was insubordination; he fired the Chinese employee on the spot. This minor incident turned into a major company drama when the fired employee, not understanding why the foreign manager would be so angry at something he thought was normal, retaliate by going to the Labor Bureau. It cost both sides enormous time and money to pursue the case.

This has happened so often that the Shanghai government has mandated joint-venture companies to form labor unions. My government contact explained that unlike their roles in the West, these labor unions are not meant to be adversaries to the employer but are suppose to be an avenue for the government to be involved in mediating before disagreements wind up in the courts. However, the best way for a foreign manager to avoid escalating misunderstandings is to understand how to manage in a system where communication and open disagreement is avoided.

I follow a few simple rules: 1) be diligent in my own communication so that I can model the style I want the staff to adopt. I believe working in China has improved my ability to communicate because I’m constantly looking for better ways to say what I mean so someone in another culture can understand.

2) Follow up on every decision to make sure it was carried out. Here, more than anywhere else, the concept of implementation is crucial. I always ask for documents that communicate the decision to be copied to me.

3) Don’t take it personally. I keep in mind whenever I any of the above situation occurs that it’s the system.

Finally, whenever I cannot convince my Chinese managers to go along with a decision, I use their system to my advantage, I say, “I won’t explain anymore, just make it happen.” Know what, they’re happier with that than all my explaining.